Tuesday, April 25, 2017

april tuesday things

1. i love having a post ready to go for monday mornings, but that just wasn't in the cards this week. joining the WBI board has added some extra work to my plate, so sunday night i was working on the weekly e-newsletter and did not get my blog post written. such is life! 

2. april 21st was my blog's 7th birthday! (no, i didn't celebrate....). but this is my 773rd post on i carry your heart in case you are wondering. :) wow! if i combine this with my 3.5 years of blogging on livejournal in college, over a decade of my life has been written about on the internet. kinda crazy! i'm flattered that anyone besides me comes back week after week to read it, so thank you! 

3. a short recap of the weekend: first, a big shout out to thatcher for giving this frazzled mom a couple good kid-breaks. saturday morning i went to java bean and finished my invoicing for work, then stopped at the grocery store, and even read my book for a little bit while he took the kids to richmond beach for the morning. we spent the afternoon/evening playing with the kids and making dinner. sunday morning we decided to take a little day trip to the city of redmond (where microsoft is located). ashford tantrum-ed all the way there in the car. thatcher turned to me and said "want me to drop you off at the outdoor mall and i'll take the kids to the park preserve?" i felt a little guilty at first and said no, but he insisted. and i was so thankful. they had fun...

and then they picked me up and we went to a burger place for lunch. it was really good! 

4. i've finished another two books (and i'm making good progress on my next one). my reading rate has slowed down, but i've already read more books than i read in 2016, so that's saying something. the last two i read were both by jennifer weiner (best known for her book "in her shoes" which was turned into a movie). i always enjoy her books and these two were no exception: 

5. finally - and i could probably write a whole post on this - but i need to just vent. i've been feeling really burned out as a mom lately. ashford has been so difficult for the last 1-2 weeks. the threenager antics are so intense right now. i thought i would handle it better the second time around, but as it turns out, i'm not a saint. he spends 97% of his waking hours being as uncooperative, unpleasant, and whiney as possible. he is the master contrarian who throws a fit about every single situation (claiming he wants the opposite of whatever is happening). and to top it off, on the occasions that he does get what he wants, he still melts down about it - because...why not?! getting him dressed, leaving the house, and coming home from activities are huge battles right now. i'm hoping this phase will end soon. it is so incredibly draining especially because i spend 99% of my time with him. i have almost no patience left and i feel bad because azalea has to be the recipient of my frazzled parenting too (read: lots of yelling and hiding in the bathroom). most days i've been feeling like i am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. the continuous nature of this role is one of the most challenging things i've ever experienced. except for a small break or two on the weekend, i'm always parenting. there is no "end" or escape. i feel guilty saying that because i love my kids so much and i am so grateful to get to do this, but it's just how i'm feeling right now. it's so much harder than i ever imagined it would be. there is something to be said about having balance in life and my life is feeling a bit unbalanced these days. but i know this too shall pass. 

well that escalated quickly! :) my brother comes into town tomorrow and i'm pretty excited about that! 

1 comment:

katielookingforward said...

Love to you dear! I'm so thankful that blogs exist and we can share life. Here's hoping the threenager antics take a break while uncle is in town! I think its really important to ask for a break. (which i say with zero parenting experience) You can do it!


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