first birthday eve

to my azalea, 

it's the night before your first birthday, i'm remembering exactly one year ago tonight, march 25th, 2011. i had no idea that my world was about to change in less than 24 hours. i went to bed thinking i might still have a week (or more) before i would meet you. 

 i was trying to be patient, but it was hard...i was so ready to hold you. by 4:30am on the 26th, i knew that it was going to be the day i would get to hold you. i hoped and prayed that everything would go smoothly and that you would be healthy. luckily i had nothing to worry about because you were perfect. 

 it was the most surreal feeling when the nurse handed you to me. i was finally meeting you, this tiny little person who i had carried around and gotten to know for 9 months. a brand new person who was half me, half your dad. the most amazing person i had ever seen. you were crying and i just held you and kissed your squished little face over and over. i desperately wanted to protect you and make you feel loved.  

i have such a mix of emotions about you turning one. this has been the fastest year of my life and i fear every year is going to fly by just as quickly. on the other hand, it amazes me to think that you've gone from a tiny helpless newborn to a little girl with a sense of humor, opinions, and love to give in just 365 days. we can't wait to see what else you have up your sleeve. 

your dad and i love you and being your mom and dad more than we ever could have imagined. we think about you non-stop, miss you when you sleep, and can't wait to get back to you when we are apart. it's the most intense, rewarding love i've ever felt.  i hope you will always know how much we love you and want what's best for you. and no matter how old you get, you will always be my baby. 

love, your mama

all photos by alison bents photography.